Main Body

A Web Worker’s December Twenty-Fourth 2015-12-24

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and in my workspace,
The tech gear was taking breaks from the rat race.
The smartphones were plugged into USB,
And the laptops were waiting for “press any key.”
The servers were nestled with heads in the cloud,
And a few FTP files were being allowed.
So I started to close Twitter, Facebook and RSS,
‘Cause tomorrow, I thought, the news would be less.
When from the dark screens there rose such a ruckus,
I jumped to my desk to see what overtook us.
The normally placid display on my iPhone
Was flashing and shining a red-and-white glow.
The light was so bright I could almost not see,
But it looked like a video window to me.
And from the speaker there came such a sound,
Saying “Can you hear me?” in a voice big and round.
“Cell service is bad at the North Pole, you know,
But I wanted to call you on Skype ere I go;
To get on the sleigh,” said he, sounding merry;
“I’ve got more calls coming in on my BlackBerry.
The season is great now the ‘Net works all right;
I have the elves tweeting; Rudolf runs my website.
I can check Todoist while I’m up in the air;
And I’m mayor of my own domain on Foursquare.
I’ve outsourced most packages to Amazon,
And UPS delivers for me by the ton;
But there are some things I must still do myself,
There are just a few presents can’t be left to an elf.
Some gifts just won’t fit stockings hung on the hearth;
It’s tough to find packages for Peace on Earth,
And I pay large-box charges on Goodwill to All,
And Joy to the World can’t be found at a mall.
Meanwhile, though, can you do me a favor,
I’ll thank you for being such a good neighbor.
Please pass on the word to your friends at the blog:
Tell them for me to have an eggnog.”
He raised eyes to webcam, with a background pristine,
And said, “Wish them good cheer in twenty-sixteen,
But now, tell them all to relax and sleep tight:
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
--Charles Hamilton

Some of the technologies have changed since this was originally published in 2010, but the sentiment is the same.

Image courtesy of Flickr user SolYoung